When Obnoxious Salespeople Attack

A couple days ago I listened to one of the worst investment pitches I have ever heard. Its manifest awfulness had nothing to do with the investment strategy on offer and everything to do with the presenter.

My colleagues and I endured approximately half an hour of some guy literally shouting at us about how great this fund was and how the fund’s investments have averaged 24% IRRs. The presenter paced like a caged animal for the duration of his monologue, punctuating the pitch with exclamations of “got it, people?!” and “okay, people?!”

I imagine this is kind of what it was like listening to Mussolini speak publicly (if Mussolini had been a real estate guy, anyway). Browbeating prospects into submission was the cornerstone of this guy’s sales process. Not a good look.

Of the myriad varieties of aggressive salespeople, aggressive financial salespeople are probably the most hazardous to your wealth. They are almost always selling you something pro-cyclical and frequently there is financial leverage on top of the cyclicality. (Where do you think the 24% IRRs come from?) This is stuff with significant go-to-zero risk. Caveat emptor.

Nonetheless, I’m fascinated by the psychology of aggressive salespeople. They are okay at making money but in my personal experience at least pretty lousy at hanging on to it. I think that has to do with pro-cyclicality, willingness to take on lots of leverage and a general predisposition toward gambling. These guys live like Thanksgiving turkeys.

turkey_happiness_graph
Source: Attain Capital via ValueWalk

Early in my career I had a number of colleagues who spent time in subprime lending. One of them described how at the peak of the cycle the reps would all be driving sports cars. Then when the cycle rolled over tow trucks would show up to repo the cars as the reps defaulted on their auto loans, same as their customers. You would think people in the subprime lending business would have a better grasp of the credit cycle. But you would be wrong.

To me this is further anecdotal evidence that pro-cyclicality and herd behavior are hard-wired into human nature. But it doesn’t make listening to obnoxious salespeople any easier.

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