I stopped writing for a while.
In 2023, my job finally burned me out. I’m not going to get into the details of the how and why. The purpose of this post is not to grind axes. It’s to (hopefully) mark a new beginning.
First, a few words on burnout, how much it sucks. Burnout is the slow erosion of the human spirit. It is a kind of soul-death. The most painful point of the burnout journey was realizing my creative drive had been extinguished. Cynicism had permeated every fiber of my being. The glass was not half empty. The glass was completely empty. If there did happen to be a glass out there with some liquid left in it, it was only a matter of time before someone dumped it out.
It’s all so clear in hindsight. In retrospect, the first thing to go was my creative drive. This didn’t happen overnight. It happened slowly. Incrementally. I just kind of lost the will the write. What’s the point in writing when everything is fake (like my job)? What’s the point in trying when everything is just a dumb political game in the end (also like at my job)? By the time I realized what happened, I was too demoralized to even look for a new job. I had become utterly incapable of relating to any kind of work in a positive way. It is impossible to create anything in that state of mind.
About a month ago, I resigned. Miserable as I was, it was still tough to go. I left good money on the table. I left friends behind. I imagine it’s kind of what getting divorced feels like.
But now I’ve got open road in front of me. This is the first thing I’ve written post-burnout. After about a month, I can feel the old creative mojo coming back.
I’m ready for a new adventure.
Hopefully the first of many.